And now, some Oswald Chambers . . .

This material comes from My Utmost for His Highest (p. 305 in my copy):

Your earlier life of faith was narrow and intense, settled around a little sun-spot of experience that had as much of sense as of faith in it, full of life and sweetness; then God withdrew his conscious blessings in order to teach you to walk by faith. You are worth far more to him now than you were in your days of conscious delight and thrilling testimony.

Faith by its very nature must be tried, and the real trial of faith is not that we find it difficult to trust God, but that God's character has to be cleared in our own minds. Faith in its actual working out has to go through spell of unsyllabled isolation. . . . Faith in the Bible is faith in God against everything that contradicts Him--I will remain true to God's character whatever he may do. "Though he slay me, yet I will trust him" is the most sublime utterance of faith in all of Scripture.

And another from Chambers (p. 114 this time):

When once the concentration is on God, all the margins of life are free and under the dominance of God alone. There is no responsibility on you for the work; the only responsibility you have is to keep in living constant touch with God, and to see you allow nothing to hinder your cooperation with him.

Finally, a passage of Scripture and some words from a fellow pilgrim on this topic:

1 Corinthians 16:13-14--"Be on the alert, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be storng. Let all that you do be done in love."

The times may seem hard and your faith may grow weak, but the Lord our God has issued a command,and he is faithful to sustain and to accomplish his purpose. God is looking for some sober minded, firmly planted men and women who do not rely on their own strength but who boldly declare "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Jesus calls for some abandoned people, people who (like Jeremiah, Daniel, John the Baptist, Paul) will forsake houses, lands, families, sisters, brothers, etc. for the sake of the kingdom of God. Individuals who will play out their existence in this mortal realm pointing the Bride of Christ to Jesus and to him alone. Men and women who have a fiery passion for their Lord and God, and whose passion will lead them to suffer any loss, to endure any hardship, to win any victory, or to endure seasons of blessing for the sake of showing others the character of God as revealed in Jesus Christ.

Will you be one of these faithful witnesses?

Will I?

Thanks for reading!

Some quotes for you . . .

"God loves each of us as if there were only one of us." St. Augustine

"For however devoted you are to (God), you may be sure that he is immeasurably more devoted to you." Meister Eckhart

"God's promises are like stars; the darker the night, the brighter they shine." David Nicholas

"[God] is not proud . . . He will have us even though we have shown that we prefer everything else to Him." C. S. Lewis

"It is much more possible for the sun to give out darkness than for God to do or be, or give out anything but blessing and goodness." William Law

Thanks for reading!

How about some Karl Barth?

I know, I know, some of my readers may be a bit shocked to find Karl Barth invading this place, but I wanted to share a couple of quotes from pages 25 and 26 of his The Humanity of God. Barth says:

"Theology is in reality not only the doctrine of God, but the doctrine of God and man. . . . [It stresses] the fact that man's relation to God is based on God's dealings with man, and not conversely."

"When the Christian gospel was changed into a statement, a religion, about Christian self-awareness, the God was lost sight of who in His sovereignty confronts man, calling him into acount, and dealing with him as Lord. This loss also blurred the sight horizontally."

Barth seems to be saying that when we do real theology, we must concern ourself not just with Christian self-esteem or self understanding/identity, but rather we must focus on the reality of God's invasion of our very lives, even his untimely (or is it "timely"?) interventions in the everyday mundane existence of humanity.

Theology is a moot point if God is studied in isolation from his workings with humanity.

When we change Christian thought or preaching toward some kind of boost to the individual Christian's self-esteem, we have really lost sight of true Christianity or theology. Theology has little to do with me. It has everything to do with God and his attempts to work with me, for me, and in me.

Theology makes no sense without Christology, without salvation, without the God of the universe joining his creation as one of them, so that by living among humans he may redeem every aspect of humanity.

Jesus became sin so that we may be the righteousness of God.

Jesus took on the likeness of sinful flesh so that he might comdemn sin in the flesh.

God deals with us by becoming one of us. He does for us what we can't do for ourselves.

If we lose sight of that, our vision becomes blurred and we forget that we are a part of a larger story--God's Story.

I am not the star, he is.

It is not my dealings with God that produce good theology or even life itself. Rather, it is God's dealings with fallen humans that produce so much good and greatness.

God in Christ became one of us, so that he might win us and win for us the prize we lost by our own sin.

God's humanity in Christ thus creates a bond between the divine and human, between man and God that not only gives hope, but a possibility for a good future.

All that is good here in this fallen world is a direct result of God's goodness and dealings with us.

We did not create it, we did not cause it to happen, we cannot make it better.

God is the author and star.

His dealings with us produce more grace, more light, more truth.

Maybe we should let him do his job.

Thanks for reading!

Borrowing grace from others . . .

I'm not feeling particularly inspired today, so bear with me as I take my cues from others who have walked the path of grace before me.

C. S. Lewis says in Mere Christianity:

The real problem of the Christian life comes where people do not usually look for it. It comes the very moment you wake up each morning. All your wishes and hopes for the day rush at you like wild animals. And the first job each morning consists simply in shoving them all back; in listening to that other voice, taking that other point of view, letting that other larger, stronger, quieter life come flowing in. And so on, all day. Standing back from all your natural fussings and frettings; coming in out of the wind.

Each morning there is a voice calling to us. Do we hear it? Oh there may well be a cacophany of voices in your mind/heart! I know there often is a raucous and rowdy group of them in mine!

"Don't forget your work! Don't forget that review you promised! Don't forget to play with your children! Don't forget to read your Bible!"

The voices vie for my attention even as my mind tries to shake the cobwebs of sleep and regain some semblance of focus. I hear them every morning. As Lewis notes, they rush at me.

What voices call us away from the Voice?

Do you hear him?

God is calling--"come to me, all who are weary and I will give you rest."

"Take my burden upon you."

"All you like sheep have gone astray."

"Come to me. I love you."

The imagery of coming out of the wind is a good one. Lewis reminds us to leave the wind of the voices calling us to busy-ness so that we can stop to listen to the one voice that matters.

God's call matters.

There is something about the call of God that transforms us when we hear it and respond. It isn't what we do, it is the very fact that God in his grace and kindness "called" us, spoke to us, singled us out, so to speak.

As Dietrich Bonhoeffer says in The Cost of Discipleship:

The call of Jesus makes the disciple community not only the salt but also the light of the world: their activity is visible, as well as imperceptible. "You are the light." Once again it is not: "you are to be the light," they are already the light because Christ has called them. They are a light which is seen of men, they cannot be otherwise, and if they were it would be a sign that they had not been called. How impossible, how utterly absurd it would be for the disciples--these disciples, such men as these!--to try and become the light of the world! No. They are already the light and the call has made them so. Nor does Jesus say: "You have the light." The light is not an instrument which has been put into their hands, such as their preaching. It is the disciples themselves. By an amazing act of mercy, they are the light.

When God speaks, something changes. The very call to discipleship changes us.

As in the beginning when God simply spoke things into existence, his Word continues to breathe creative life into the heart of humanity (see John 1). His Word enlightens us, illuminates our dark lives, transforms us into the light of the world.

God speaks, something happens. Light comes into being. Darkness is confused, overcome, ruined.

God speaks, light breaks forth.

God calls, and we become salt and light. Every part of us becomes a testimony to the kindness of God. Every aspect of our life bleeds his kindness, his love, his grace, his mercy, his call.

Oh, and let's remember--He calls us, we don't call him.

God speaks, stuff happens.

Wow!

Thanks be to God for his inexpressible gift!

Thank you for reading!

And now, a song from Jennifer Knapp . . .

This song is "Say Won't You Say" by Jennifer Knapp. I'll let the lyrics talk first.

Chorus:
say won't you say
say that you love me
with love, ever, love
love everlasting
all my devotion put into motion by you

Verse 1:
every morning I
have a chance to rise and
give my all
but every afternoon i find i have only wasted time
in light of your awe
isn't love amazing
i forgot how to speak
knowing you are near and
i am finally free

(Chorus)

Verse 2:
my eyes fear to close
this reckless letting go is
hard to bear
on the edge of all i need
still i cling to what i see
and what have i there?
bred my own disaster
who have i to blame?
when all i need is waiting
to be fanned to flame

(chorus)

Bridge:
yeah, i opened up my eyes
to see you standing there
o, i can barely breathe
o, i can hardly bare
all the love i feel for you inside
i hope you feel it now

I'll apologize up front for the negative feel that you may find in this song. I'm still struggling a bit with my emotions regarding the loss of my friend Steve Huisman. That being said, Steve's spiritual honesty and transparency have been driving me lately to look at my own life. That drive led me to Jennifer Knapp. She sings with an almost pure transparency and honesty. Here's what I get from this song.

We live in a fallen world. That is not an excuse for acting like fallen people, it is simply a truth with which each individual must deal. We are fallen, we live in a fallen place.

Paradise is lost to us.

Eden is a gated community. We are no longer invited.

Yet every morning, God offers to each of us a new measure of mercy. His mercies are new every morning. Like dew on the grass, this mercy just appears. We did nothing to get it, we will do nothing to earn it, we can't even make it happen. It just happens because it is driven by grace.

We wake up. Our world is still gray and lifeless, but on the grass we see this mercy. We see color, we see life, we see possibility and potential.

What do we do with it?

What is our reaction to this fresh load of undeserved kindness dumped on the lawn of our life?

Too often like the song above, we simply waste it. We tread through it with our dirty feet. At the end of the day, we wonder where it went.

The truth is that it hasn't gone anywhere. Even when we drag our dirty feet through the sweet holy dew of God's kindness to us, it still sticks to us. It grabs our shoes and follows us into the world.

God is not a quitter. He keeps pouring out lovingkindness, mercy, grace, and all that good stuff every day. Oh, we try to avoid it. We focus on the darkness of our personal experiences, we look at the drudgery of our lives, we complain about our own fallenness.

Yet even in the midst of that, God is there. Look at the bridge of the song above. Go on, look.

Open your eyes. God is standing there. His love is beautiful, it is breathtaking. He stands there to overwhelm us with his concern for us. He makes the dew of his mercy fall each morning on our colorless lives so that he can bring life and color and joy and holiness to each of us.

It is awe inspiring.

Even in the midst of our darkest moment the light of God pierces through like a laser of truth.

"I am here."

"I am that I am."

"I love you."

"Come to me."

I've heard various permutations of the song "It is Well with my Soul" over the last 10 days since Steve died. May I just say that the song is true. I sit here at my desk and tell you, it is well.

No, my circumstances have not changed, I still miss my friend. But my blinded eyes are opened, I see God and his kindness standing there. He takes my breath away. He cares for me. Yes, he even cares that I hurt.

It is well. As I bury my head into my Father's shoulder and let out that cry that has been welling up for some time, I know. I know. It is well.

As my Father takes me in his arms and loves me as only he can--I know. It is well.

As he brushes my tear stained face with his kind and gentle hand, as I look into his loving eyes, as I hear his calming voice--I know that it is well.

God loves me. He cares. It will be okay.

Hang in there. By God's grace, you're going to make it.

Thanks be to God for his inexpressible gift!

Thank you for reading!

In memoriam . . .

Steve Huisman.

Most of my readers will not recognize that name, although a few may think they know it.

Steve was a very good friend of mine. In fact, he was one of the best friends I ever had.

Steve died on Monday in a plane crash. He was flying a plane in Florida that encountered some mechinal problems and crash landed on Davis Island. Steve died when the plane hit a home and caught fire. His co-pilot and the one person in the home survived.

I don't want to dwell on how Steve died. I want to describe how he lived.

Steve was a man that seemed at times to operate on an almost visceral level of honesty. He was unafraid to admit exactly how he was feeling and what he thought, especially when those thoughts and feelings pertained to his own spiritual status.

Don't misunderstand me, he was not a negative person. He was just quick to recognize his own fallenness and struggles. And by his honest admission of his fallenness, he elicited from others a confession that often bordered on sacramental.

Steve was my hero.

I would never have completed my Ph.D. if not for Steve Huisman. He was working on a correspondence course when he called me one day. He asked how the dissertation was going, and I confessed that I was struggling and didn't think I'd finished. Oh, my lovely wife was gently prodding me, the members of the dissertation committee were doing their part to help me out, but I just was not motivated.

Steve had a great thought--"Leo, how about we call each other at 6:00 a.m. to update each other on our projects. It will be good for us and provide a source of accountability."

Promptly at 6:00 the next morning, he called me.

For about two years after that my early morning conversations with Steve were opportunities to admit my fears and my failures as well as times to rejoice in milestones and accomplishments. He never judged me when I had a bad day or week. He gently encouraged me to press on. He laughed with me when something funny happend, he celebrated with me when things got done. He walked with me, and by being there he pushed me to finish.

When I graduated with my Ph.D., I neglected to tell him how much his encouragement had meant to me. Two weeks ago he called me here in VA. He was in FL and just wanted to talk. We talked about an hour about our families, our lives, our Lord. We laughed, we kidded each other, we prayed for each other. He told me that he wanted my wife to speak to his wife. As we were passing the phones, I cleared my throat and said, "Steve, I wanted to tell you how much your friendship means to me. You were God's instrument to help me finish my dissertation. I never adequately thanked you for that." I told him all the great things I loved about him--his acceptance, his honesty, his gentleness even when he corrected me or pushed me to discipline, his gut level love for other people that was evident in my life. I sang his praises, I think I embarassed him.

I told him I loved him.

Little did I know it would be the last time we would talk on this earth.

Steve went to be with the Lord in that plane crash Monday, but he left an awful lot of good stuff behind. His life is still having an impact on others even though it has ended. His diligence to serve God and others has left the world a better place. His love for his wife and children have instituted a legacy that will no doubt bear great fruit. His ongoing desire to be the best he could be for God's sake continues to motivate those who knew him to a deeper intimacy with God through Christ.

Steve was not a Bible scholar, but his life exemplified a clear understanding of the biblical call to follow Christ. He was a friend. He was a godly man.

I miss him.

God, how I miss him!

I hate this fallen world of ours, but I know that it isn't home. Not completely. It is a way station. None of us are on this earth forever.

I still miss Steve.

41 years is not enough. I only knew him about 13 or so of those years.

He was a tall drink of water, a missionary kid with a love bigger than the world. He was the kind of guy you could trust to watch your most prized possessions. He had my back, he was my mighty and marvelous comrade. He helped me slay dragons and rescue damsels.

Now I have to contemplate life without one of my wing men. Steve loved flying only slightly less than he loved God and his family. He loved to be in the air.

Someday, I'll look up in the air and see him coming with Christ. It will be the ultimate flight, and it won't surprise me to see Steve acting as the pilot.

Death has invaded my life again. I can't imagine how his wife and four children feel. I feel like I've been punched in the stomach, like I've lost something that cannot be replaced.

I can almost hear Steve saying "I'll call you in the morning. You're going to make it! Hang in there!"

Thanks Steve, for all you gave us. Thanks to God for sharing Steve with us for 41 years.

I'm crying now and feeling like I'm rambling, so maybe I better stop.

Live today like you have no tomorrow. Hug someone special and tell them you love them. Life is fragile, my friends, but God is strong. God is still in control, even though the world seems to spin crazily out of orbit.

Hang in there! With God's help, we're all going to make it!

Thanks for reading!

Time for some quotes . . .

"The intellectual decision most urgently facing humanity in our time is whether to acknowledge or disown Jesus Christ as the hope of the world and whether Christian values are to be the arbiter of human civilization in the present instead of only in the final judgment of men and nations." Carl F. H. Henry

"The task of the modern educator is not to cut down jungles but to irrigate deserts. The right defense against false sentiments is to inculcate just sentiments. By starving the sensibility of our pupils we only make them easier prey to the propagandist when he comes. For famished nature will be avenged and a hard heart is no infallible protection against a soft head." C. S. Lewis, The Abolition of Man, pp. 13-14

"Until quite modern times all teachers and even all men believed the universe to be such that certain emotional reactions on our part could be either congruous or incongruous to it--believed, in fact, that objects did not merely receive, but could merit, our approval or disapproval, our reverence or our contempt." C. S. Lewis, The Abolition of Man, pp. 14-15

"A theological thought can breathe only in the atmosphere of dialogue with God." Helmut Thielicke, A Little Exercise for Young Theologians

"The more seriously I take (God), the more completely I shatter myself against him." Helmut Thielicke, I Believe! The Christian’s Creed

What can I add except--Amen!

Thanks for reading!

What's playing?

On my CD player today are the following:

1. Stryper--To Hell with the Devil

2. U2--Greatest Hits 1980-1990

3. David Crowder Band--Illuminate

4. Foreigner--Greatest Hits

Yep, it's a rockin' kind of day.

Thanks for reading!

And now a word from Fanny Crosby . . .

This afternoon as I took a walk, the words to the old hymn "Draw Me Nearer" kept running through my head. I thought I'd look them up and share them with you. Here they are:

I am thine, O Lord, I have heard Thy voice,
And it told Thy love to me;
But I long to rise in the arms of faith
And be closer drawn to Thee.

Chorus:

Draw me nearer, nearer, nearer blessed Lord,
To the cross where Thou hast died;
Draw me nearer, nearer, nearer, blessed Lord,
To Thy precious bleeding side.

Consecrate me now to Thy service, Lord,
By the power of grace divine;
Let my soul look up with a steadfast hope,
And my will be lost in Thine.
(Chorus)

Oh, the pure delight of a single hour
That before Thy throne I spend
When I kneel in prayer, and with Thee, my God,
I commune as friend with friend!
(chorus)

There are depths of love that I cannot know
Till I cross the narrow sea;
There are heights of joy that I may not reach
Till I rest in peace with Thee.
(chorus)

I like the images here--clear and concise.

But there is a problem with this song, one that many of us don't notice right away.

When we think of communion with God, or drawing "nearer" to Jesus, we tend to think of some pastoral or sweet scene. You know what I mean, a place where little lambs romp and play, a scene of little children being helped across a bridge by the kind and gracious Jesus, the joyful scene of a type of lovers' rapture as beloved stares deeply into the eyes of the lover.

But that isn't the picture in Crosby's song . . . not even close.

The nearness she longs for is the nearness of Christ's suffering and death.

Yeah, you read that right--go back a reread the song if you don't believe me. Go on, I'll wait.

Done? Okay, did you see it? Crosby is more concerned with Colossians 1:24-26 or Philippians 3:8-11. The latter passage finds Paul longing for the knowledge of Christ in three areas--the power of Christ's resurrection, the fellowship of his sufferings, and being like him in death.

Doesn't that seem backwards to you? Don't we tend to present those events in the other direction? You know--first Jesus died, then he rose again, then he gave his church the Spirit of God.

Yet Paul actually lists them backwards, and Fanny Crosby follows his lead.

For Paul there is some kind of joy or great reward in working backwards in this event. We receive the wonderful gift of new life, the resurrection power of our God. Then we get to become like Jesus in our sufferings, to share his fellowship in that awful and yet joyful area (cf. Hebrews 12).

There is something to be said for suffering, for drawing close to the wounded Healer, to the slain Lamb, to the One who became poor so that we may be rich. We must not forget that intimacy with this crucified Jewish rabbi, with this martyred Messiah, involves the possibility of blood on our clothes. It is messy. In fact, friendship with this suffering Servant may well entail suffering for us.

Paul understood that, Fanny Crosby understood it. Do we?

Will we embrace it?

Do we really want to draw nearer to God by means of the bleeding side of his Son?

That's heavier than I expected. I'm going to leave it there.

Thanks for reading!

A quick quote . . .

In a tribute to Pastor Ralph Williams, Dr. William L. Lane makes the following comments:

Pastor Williams embodied the plaque that hung on the wall of his study:

"When the Lord looks me over
he will not judge me
by the degrees I have earned
or the awards I have won
but by the scars I have incurred."

May the battlewounds of your youth show your diligence to our Lord! Bill's did, and he had a larger impact on my life than he could have ever known. Bill passed away a little over seven years ago after a long battle with cancer. I pray that I can somehow live up to the example of discipleship and scholarship he so diligently displayed.

Thanks for reading!

How much is this blog worth?

I haven't checked the worth of this blog since I discovered a few months ago that it was worthless. Here is the new data:

My blog is worth $564.54.
How much is your blog worth?

Who would have thought that my blog would be worth something? Wow!

Thanks for reading!

40

U2 has a song by this title. The words to that song are pretty much taken from Psalm 40. Psalm 40 is written to encourage the readers to remain faithful in the midst of trials. For those of you taking exams or facing other hard times this week, here is Psalm 40 from the New King James Version. May God grant you the grace to remain faithful in your trial!

Ps 40

To the Chief Musician. A Psalm of David.
40:1 I waited patiently for the LORD; And He inclined to me, And heard my cry. 2 He also brought me up out of a horrible pit, Out of the miry clay, And set my feet upon a rock, And established my steps. 3 He has put a new song in my mouth — Praise to our God; Many will see it and fear, And will trust in the LORD.

4 Blessed is that man who makes the LORD his trust, And does not respect the proud, nor such as turn aside to lies. 5 Many, O LORD my God, are Your wonderful works Which You have done; And Your thoughts toward us Cannot be recounted to You in order; If I would declare and speak of them, They are more than can be numbered.

6 Sacrifice and offering You did not desire; My ears You have opened. Burnt offering and sin offering You did not require. 7 Then I said, "Behold, I come; In the scroll of the book it is written of me. 8 I delight to do Your will, O my God, And Your law is within my heart."

9 I have proclaimed the good news of righteousness In the great assembly; Indeed, I do not restrain my lips, O LORD, You Yourself know. 10 I have not hidden Your righteousness within my heart; I have declared Your faithfulness and Your salvation; I have not concealed Your lovingkindness and Your truth From the great assembly.

11 Do not withhold Your tender mercies from me, O LORD; Let Your lovingkindness and Your truth continually preserve me. 12 For innumerable evils have surrounded me; My iniquities have overtaken me, so that I am not able to look up; They are more than the hairs of my head;Therefore my heart fails me.

13 Be pleased, O LORD, to deliver me; O LORD, make haste to help me! 14 Let them be ashamed and brought to mutual confusion Who seek to destroy my life; Let them be driven backward and brought to dishonor Who wish me evil. 15 Let them be confounded because of their shame, Who say to me, "Aha, aha!"

16 Let all those who seek You rejoice and be glad in You; Let such as love Your salvation say continually, "The LORD be magnified!" 17 But I am poor and needy;Yet the LORD thinks upon me. You are my help and my deliverer; Do not delay, O my God.

Thanks for reading!

Have you no scar?

Here are a couple of poems that have often given me encouragement and motivation when in the midst of hard times. For those of you experiencing final exams or other hardships, these poems are for you.

"Hast Thou No Scar?" Amy Carmichael

Hast thou no scar?
No hidden scar on foot or side or hand?
I hear thee sung as might in the land,
I hear them hail thy bright ascendant star.
Hast thou no scar?

Hast thou no wound?
Yet I was wounded by the archers,
Spent and leaned me against a tree to die.
And rent by ravening beast that compassed me,
I swooned.
Hast thou no wound?

No wound, no scar.
But as the master must the servant be
And pierced are the feet that follow Me.
Yet thine are whole.
Can he have followed far who had not wound nor scar?

And finally, a little encouraging poem from Samuel Rutherford:

It cost Christ and all his followers sharp showers and hot sweats,
Ere they went to the top of the mountain.
But still our soft natures would have heaven coming to our bedsides while we are sleeping,
That we may go to heaven in warm clothes.

But all who came there found wet feet by the way,
And sharp storms, that did take the hide off thier faces.
And found tos and fros and ups and downs,
And many enemies along the way.

I like to read these poems to myself when I am tempted to complain. They seem kind of harsh to read, but they remind me of William Law's admonition "Whenever you find yourself disposed to uneasiness or murmuring at anything that is the effect of God’s providence, look upon yourself as denying either the wisdom or goodness of God." God's goodness is sometimes inscrutable, especially in the hard times. God has not asked us to suffer as much as we sometimes think, and that is why I like to remind myself with these poems. It reminds me to be thankful for the "easy" way that my Lord has led me.

Let me end this post with an anonymous encouragement--"Remember, after every winter is a spring. After every spring is a summer. After every summer is a fall."

Remember that even the life of a Christian contains cycles. You may be going through a hardship today, or you may (like me) have it relatively easy. Either way, let's remember that our ancestors in the faith faced even worse. Our way is not easy, but God is good. Hang in there!

Thanks for reading!

From Philosophy class . . .

Well, what can I say? The past few days in philosophy class were definitely interesting. We talked about the concept of sex. Yes, you read that right. Ouch! That is one of those subjects that I often find intriguing and embarrassing. I mean, God knows I've made my share of blunders in this area, and today I even talked about how I had misused the gift God gave me. Ah well, life is interesting, and I wanted to add some thoughts to my blog about class.

I realize that in whatever context we deal with the issue of sex, there will no doubt be controversy, condemnation, and embarrassment. We are all fallen people, after all, and who among us likes to admit our specific area of fallenness? Nonetheless, I think Peter Kreeft is correct that we in America haven't done the hard logical thinking required to explore this mystery and this monster. We have made this amazing gift into a merely selfish act, a mere recreational pursuit of personal pleasure. The secret to great marriage (and sex therein) is to unlearn this selfishness. It isn't about me! Just like Jesus' death and resurrection wasn't about him, but about loving us and giving his life in our place, so also this expression of our love within the commitment of marriage should be focused on what is best for the other person. We should seriously consider what is good for our spouse, and (even though I don't always do this) we should seek to do that thing, to love in that way, to lay down our own stuff for the benefit of another.

Isn't that in a sense the greatest good, the highest love in all areas? Putting the needs of another before your own? Isn't that the example of service that Jesus portrayed?

Ouch, that is difficult. Of course, we have made sex so common that (as the character says in Kreeft's book) we have made ourselves free from sex. We reduced it to merely human size. It is no longer a treasured possession, it is a recreational sport. Sad, isn't it? Yet even when we participate in it within this paradigm, something inside us screams "It isn't supposed to be like this! It isn't supposed to be common!" That is the voice of reason. We should listen to it on occasion.

I don't mean to sound like I am denigrating or belittling anyone out there who (like me) have found themselves behaving poorly in this area. God knows most of us don't need more guilt over the deal! What I am trying to say is that we need to return to a rational, godly mindset on the issue. We need to ask the tough questions, do the difficult thinking, pursue with gusto the truth in this matter. Sex is part of all of us. We ought to learn the truth about it so that we can live in truth and not perpetuate the lie.

Well, I've probably said enough. I will add in conclusion, I'm glad I found forgiveness. I'm glad I learned. I'm even glad that my Father is patient in his training and discipline in this area of my life. He loves me with all my sins and failures. He loves me when I succeed. He forgives me and applauds me as needed--and that's a good thing! Whew, this topic is heavy, I think I'll put it down now.

Thanks for reading!

And now, a song from Forty Days . . .

Here's a song I was listening to on the old CD player that I really enjoyed.

"Quiet" by Mark Warren, Joel Warren

Walk into a crowded room, into a faceless sea
I feel right at home
Remember not to look to close so they won't see through me
They can never know that there's a voice inside my head
Inside my mind
If I could find that secret place
A place to hide

Chorus:
It would be alright if I could stay there for awhile
It would be alright if I could steal the quiet
Deep down I have a need that I cannot deny
It would be alright

I sense you there across the room
A blinding light stills me where I stand
I didn't think you'd come this soon
If I may, if I might find out where I stand
I didn't plan to leave you out for all this time
I took for granted you were here
But if you don't mind

Chorus:
It would be alright if I could stay there for awhile
It would be alright if I could steal the quiet
Deep down I have a need that I cannot deny
It would be alright

I don't know why this song speaks so strongly to me. I think it is the whole idea of stealing quiet.

Finding a center.

Hunkering down for a moment of peace in a world of white noise.

Brother Lawrence said, "To be with God there is no need to be continually in church. Of our heart we may make an oratory, wherein to retire from time to time and with Him hold meek, humble loving converse." (The Practice of the Presence of God)

Sometimes we need to retire, to separate ourselves into a sort of solitude just to be in the presence of the One who really matters. Thomas Kelly in A Testament of Devotion calls this the process of centering on God. It is the discipline of finding a place to be, a place to just sit with Abba and simply to breathe.

If we make time for this practice, for this centering, for this laser like focus on what really matters, we may well find that God often appears in those times in ways we may not have expected. As Evelyn Underhill notes in Practical Mysticism:

"Because mystery is horrible to us, we have agreed for the most part to live in a world of labels; to make of them the current coin of experience, and ignore their merely symbolic character, the infinite gradation of values which they misrepresent. We simply do not attempt to unite with Reality. But now and then that symbolic character is suddenly brought home to us. Some great emotion, some devastating visitation of beauty, love or pain, lifts us to another level of consciousness; and we are aware for a moment of the difference between the neat collection of discrete objects and experiences which we call the world and the height, the depth, the breadth of the living, growing, changing Fact, of which thought, life, and energy are parts and in which we 'live and move and have our being.'"

I think that sums up the second verse of the song--sometimes we are just jolted out of our contemplation, out of our busy-ness, out of our mundane existence, and then we have a clarity we have not experienced and maybe cannot adequately express.

We see.

We see HIM.

We get IT.

I need the quiet. I need to get it. I need to crawl into my Father's lap and be shocked into an awareness of how interconnected my world is to His, how his grace overflows in every aspect of my existence, how completely all encompassing is this One called God.

Steal the quiet.

Get in God's presence.

Be jolted into the reality of this great grace which sustains us all.

Thanks for reading!

Time for some 70s music and comment!

Today I've been listening to a set of CDs containing the greatest hits of the 70s. A two disc set is given over to "one hit wonders." One of those "wonders" got my attention today. For those of you over 30, see if you remember this song:

Sometimes When We Touch - Dan Hill

You ask me if I love you
And I choke on my reply
I'd rather hurt you honestly
Than mislead you with a lie
And who am I to judge you
On what you say or do?
I'm only just beginning to see the real you

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

Romance and all its strategy
Leaves me battling with my pride
But through the insecurity
Some tenderness survives
I'm just another writer
Still trapped within my truth
A hesitant prize fighter
Still trapped within my youth

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

At times I'd like to break you
And drive you to your knees
At times I'd like to break through
And hold you endlessly

At times I understand you
And I know how hard you've tried
I've watched while love commands you
And I've watched love pass you by

At times I think we're drifters
Still searching for a friend
A brother or a sister
But then the passion flares again

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

I was listening to this song today after having a conversation about small groups and relationships. How appropriate that Providence (or was it "sheer luck") established that this song would be keyed up on my car's CD player! Let me explain.

One of the things I have been learning as a disciple of Christ is the importance of authentic and reconciled relationships. In our fast-paced, computer based, and out of touch society, we tend to define "relationships" by the number of times we e-mail, page, or voice mail our friends. We get in the habit of having "contact" without coming into contact with anyone! We have "friends" that we never seem to encounter physically. How do we call that "relationship"?

What I love about this song is the honesty about relationships. Read the lyrics again. Go ahead, I'll wait right here.

Done? No, no hurry, I'm still here.

Okay, got it? Good. Here are the ideas that caught my attention today. Dan Hill reminds us that relationships work best when they are founded on honesty and presence.

Yes, presence.

Oh, many of us have honesty down (although in some cases our claims to "honesty" are just an excuse to be insulting--right?), but how many of us have the issue of "presence"? Do we even know what it is?

Look at the chorus--Dan Hill sings that he wants to hold on until his fear subsides, he wants to hold on until both he and his girl break down and cry. What's he saying?

He is there. . . he is with her . . . he is present.

How does it relate to being a Christ-follower? Let me illustrate by telling a story.

In Luke 24, a couple of guys have left Jerusalem to walk home after a disappointing series of events including the trial and wrongful death of Jesus. They are depressed, bummed, disappointed. They had thought that Jesus may be the One who would set things right. Now he is dead. Done in by one of his own disciples and killed by the religious leaders and political tyrants of the day. In this depressed state of mind they take a walk.

I picture them walking along silently--just being there with each other. As they continue their depressed journey, a stranger approaches. This guy doesn't seem to understand the significance of recent events. He is clueless. Even more importantly, he is Jesus, but the depressed walkers don't recognize him.

As they walk, they relate the series of happenings to the hidden Christ. They spill their guts about their disappointment, their sadness at the death of Jesus. They express their doubt regarding the report of a few women that Jesus' body was missing from the tomb. They are too busy with their disappointment to buy the idea of resurrection.

Then Jesus speaks.

He doesn't say, "Oh gee, you guys have had it rough. Man, I'm glad I missed all of that."

He doens't put a band-aid on their gaping chest wound.

He pulls out the scalpel of God's word (see Hebrews 4:12) and performs heart surgery.

Jesus takes their broken hearts into his surgeon's hands and works on them.

As Jesus talks to them, they approach home in Emmaus. The depressed fellows are feeling much better now, so they invite the still unknown Jesus into their home.

They sit down at the table to eat. Eating is an intimate act of sorts. They are expressing friendship to this stranger.

Then Jesus breaks the bread, offers a blessing, and the guys look up and see the resurrected Lord where a stranger had been (is that what the author of Hebrews meant about entertaining "angels unawares" in chapter 13 of that letter?).

Jesus was there.

He was present with them, but they did not "see" him until they ate with him, until they got honest, until they recognized his presence there.

What do you think tipped them off?

Was it the prayer? Or the way Jesus broke the bread?

Whatever it was, the presence of Christ was expressed in that honest moment. Here's the point:

When followers of Christ get together in honest relationships focused on reconciliation (see Matthew 18:12-20), the presence of God is practically guaranteed.

So, here's what attracted me to this song--the idea of being in relationships that help me see the real me and the real you. Relationships of such honesty and reconciliation that we just keep at them until the fear disappears.

We all have been hurt at one time or another in relationships. It may have been a dating situation, or at home, or at church, or at work.

We have all endured the brokenness and pain that comes from being human.

Why not look for authentic relationship that gives an invitation to the presence of Jesus?

Why not be there for each other?

It is a high standard, but if Jesus did it, how can we say no to an attempt?

Be there.

I'm going to try.

Thanks for reading!

An oldie from my journal . . .

I wrote the following in my journal on December 20, 2003, but I read it this morning and wanted to share it. Here ya go:

We humans make lots of excuses for our behavior or for our “petty” failures (read—SIN), but deep in our own hearts we all know that only one thing matters. Only one thing is of utmost importance in life. Yes, in our honest moments, in those times when we aren’t looking out for number one or getting the “break” we believe we deserve, in those times of utter clarity and reason, we know. Oh do we know!

Yet we are so fearful of giving voice to it, aren’t we? We are so afraid to admit the one thing that is genuinely important.

What is that thing? It is the smile of acceptance, that is what we all long for in our deepest hearts.

Why do different groups clamor for "rights"? They want acceptance. Deep within the heart of every human being is a groan, an ache, a holy desire for acceptance. Admit it, you just want someone to accept you, warts and all.

Yet in those awful moments of clarity, another truth stands out like a beacon. We are all (in some sense, at least) utterly unacceptable. It is the inheritance from our ancestors Adam and Eve, and it is the result of our own foolish choices. We have blown it, failed, let someone down, sinned, screwed up, been a disappointment, embarrassed the family or the company.

In short, we are sinners. We all know it.

Who has the unmitigated gall to claim complete perfection on his or her own right? No one who is honest. And yet, in spite of these two seemingly opposite desires and truths, we are ashamed (or is it afraid?) to admit it. We know it in our hearts, but we pretend that it isn’t important. Why is that?

Well, I don’t pretend to have all the answers (even in those moments when I think myself perfectly capable of searching out the depths of the universe and explaining them!), but I can say this much--we have this desire and this fear because God put it there. It is in our humanity. It is part of us.

The Psalmist prayed many times, “God let me not be ashamed.” Wasn’t he saying what is particular to all humans? The long version of this statement for most of us may be put this way--“Lord, don’t let me be found out. Don’t let the truth of my sin or failure be made known to others. Let me be accepted.” This attitude is endemic to all humanity, it is part and parcel of the nature of sinful humans.

And God has an answer for it.

When he came searching for Adam and Eve, he said, “Adam, where are you?” He was LOOKING for Adam, the human he loved. It was Adam who hid from God out of shame. It was Adam who claimed to be unacceptable. God never said that. In fact, God judged Adam’s act, but showed mercy to Adam.

Do you see it yet? God accepts you! As Jeremiah says in chapter 17 of his prophecy—“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked.” Oh, but don’t stop reading, he also says, “I the Lord search the heart and test the mind.” The Lord is greater than my heart (1 John 5). He knows what my heart ought to look like, and if I am his child through Jesus, he has given me a new heart, a good heart, a pure heart, an unashamed heart!

God accepts us. He accepts me. He is not ashamed of me. I do not embarrass him. Do I believe it? In my moments of spiritual clarity I think I do.

Satan wants us to continue on in the false idea that somehow we don’t measure up. Oh, there may be some truth to that, but it is a partial truth. The rest of the good news is that Jesus did for us what Adam could not. Jesus did for us what we cannot do for ourselves. We measure up because Jesus measures up.

Is God ashamed of Jesus? No, a thousand times no! He also cannot turn aside his loving gaze from the fruits of his Son’s sacrifice and ministry.

Yet, we continue to trust in our humanity, our abilities, our own flesh to measure up to God. As Jeremiah says:

Jer 17:7-8
7 " Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD
And whose trust is the LORD.
8 "For he will be like a tree planted by the water,
That extends its roots by a stream
And will not fear when the heat comes;
But its leaves will be green,
And it will not be anxious in a year of drought
Nor cease to yield fruit.”
NASU

Trusting in flesh will get fleshly results, but trusting in God will yield godly fruit.

Lord, teach us to trust you in all things. Teach us to live out of hearts fully alive to you. Give us authentic experiences with your grace, your love, your acceptance of us. Help us to grow in grace until we literally ooze the very character of Jesus out of every pore of our lives. For the furtherance of your kingdom, teach my heart to live this truth.

Thanks for reading!

The Surprise Topic is--"Circumcision"

Rom 2:28-29
28 For he is not a Jew who is one outwardly, nor is circumcision that which is outward in the flesh. 29 But he is a Jew who is one inwardly; and circumcision is that which is of the heart, by the Spirit, not by the letter; and his praise is not from men, but from God. NASU

Circumcision is not a "painless" endeavor--never has been, never will be. How's that for understatement?

Circumcision involves a painful process that results in the removal of a very sensitive and delicate part of the anatomy. The wound created by circumsion must be cared for so as not to avoid infection. Our topic today is about a more invasive form of circumcision, however. Today I want to consider circumcision as heart surgery.

The passage above refers to a circumcision of the heart. Why is this surgery needed?

The reasons for the inward surgery include purity, obedience, and sanctification. The Spirit of God removes the sensitive areas of our hearts, those areas we do not let others touch indiscriminately--those areas into which we allow few if any of our friends.

The area for removal is secret as well as sensitive. The surgery is hardly pain free. When the Spirit begins to cut off those secret areas of our hearts, he removes and exposes things we would rather leave unknown and secret.

The healing of these wounds can take time too! It is no small thing to have God's surgery of circumcision performed on your heart!

How does this surgery take place? How is it performed by God's Spirit?

Often it is done in the red hot bed of trials or harsh circumstances. Rarely does God perform this kind of surgery without the benefit of hard times--just ask Job, or Moses, or Paul, or even Jesus himself, who "learned obedience through suffering." When God removes what we think is good--job, relationships, security, etc.--sometimes he is doing his best to expose the secret stuff that he really wants to cut away from our hearts.

The good news is that God knows what he is doing, and his scalpel is true. We can trust him to do the surgery well and to complete it. Trust him when times are hard, he will only remove what is necessary to complete your circumcision. Oh, it may feel like his scalpel is going to kill you, but it will not. It is for health that he prunes us and performs heart surgery.

His surgery on our hearts marks us as his people. It is a sign of his acceptance and love for us (remember Hebrews 12?). Without this surgery, without this circumcision, without this change of heart, we are not as easily identifiable as the people of God.

How do we respond to these things?

The only thing a patient can really do is to let the surgeon finish the work. Be still and know that he is God.

He will not remove too much.

He will complete what he starts.

Trust him.

Thanks for reading!

Shut up and listen!

For the most part of the book of Job, Job states his case forcefully and well that he is suffering without cause, that he has done no wrong to deserve his suffering. He even makes the bold statement, “Would that there was a mediator between me and God, then I’d state my case!” When God shows up, however, Job does not present his case. The story of Job tells us that that righteous, perfect man “put his hand on his mouth” after hearing God.

How often do we rush into the Almighty’s presence to “state our case” before him! Like Job, we have a just cause to promote, an injustice to prevent or overcome, or a problem to solve. We rush to God and argue our case, and sometimes in the midst of our arguments we find ourselves screaming so loud that we miss the most important part of the story—God is speaking. And the only proper response to the voice of God is silence. Shut up! Put your hand on your mouth! Listen!

After hearing God’s side, Job states, “I have spoken things too wonderful for me,” and he repented. Notice that Job’s repentance didn’t come after a change in his circumstances. Oh, he was still seated on the ash heap, still scraping his sores, still in physical and emotional misery—-none of that had changed a bit!

What changed? Well, instead of hearing the droning of his own pitiful voice, Job heard God. God spoke! God addressed Job! The God of Creation, who holds the stars in the palm of his hand, spoke openly and directly to Job. Job’s response was to close his mouth. His case, his problems no longer seemed paramount. God is speaking so all activity must cease. “Be still, and know that I am God.”

What did God say? Did he speak nice words of hope and encouragement to Job?

Not really, what he did was to question Job. He cross-examined Job in the greatest court of law.

No wonder Job was smart enough to be quiet! The greatest Lawyer and Law-Giver in the universe was grilling him.

“Job,” God says, “I want you to give me wisdom since you seem to be so smart. Where were you when I created the universe? Where were you when I separated land and sea? When I scattered stars in the sky? When I overthrew Leviathan and Behemoth? You were there, right, you are so wise, so tell me!”

God essentially told Job—“I am God, and you aren’t.” It might seem like a harsh message given Job’s circumstances, but it is true and in some ways it is comforting too. God is in charge, he sees all the angles, not me. God is the Creator, the Sustainer, the Advocate, the Mediator, the Lover, and he wants me to remember even in my darkest hour that he knows what is important and why things are going the way they are.

He may not explain himself to me, but he will come and remind me who is God. He will comfort me with the assuring words that he knows what he is doing. I may want to argue, to tell him how horribly wrong he is, but I know in my heart that the proper response is to be still, to put my hand on my mouth and let God be God. He doesn’t need my advice, my counsel, even though he asks for my cooperation. God is good, and he is God. Be still, and know that today.

Thank you, Father, for the timely reminder. Today, help us to find pools of silence in an otherwise busy day so that we can hear you talking to us.

Thanks for reading!

What is the cost of service?

Will a man serve God for nothing? Will he? Psalm 8 says that God has made us a little lower than the angels, a little lower than God himself. He has given us dominion and authority. Would I so quickly praise his name if he had not?

In the story of Job, Satan asks the infamous question—“Will a person serve God for nothing?” There is the real question of life; this is where the rubber meets the road. Take away all the “success” I may think I see—would I still serve God? Take away the honors, the hours of training, the degrees, the ability to think, the ability to write, the desire to teach, the hope of salvation, take away spouse and children, houses and lands—-would I then say—-“The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord?” Would I demand an audience with God? Would I “state my case before the Holy One of Israel?”


Would you?


“Will a man serve God for nothing?” What? Is God asking me to work for no pay? What will I have left then if God takes it all away?

Perhaps a better question is what do you have that God did not give you through the poverty of his Son, Jesus? He became poor so that you might be rich. He became sin so that you might become the righteousness of God. He suffered death so that you might enjoy eternal life. He became the “medicine of immortality” so that these sinful lives could be completely redeemed and restored to their pristine and edenic form.

What privation can you not endure for him who has given all things? Romans 8 says, “He that did not spare his own Son, but delivered him over for us all, how will he not with him also freely give us all things?” The same chapter reminds us that we are “joint-heirs” with Jesus—-heirs of his good things, yes, but also heirs of his suffering.

The whole cosmos waits on tippy-toes to see the final redemption of humanity, and we are so selfish and close-minded as to think that somehow we “deserve” certain things or that we are mistreated when privation and loss come our way. God has freely given us all things with Jesus and through Jesus—that word “all” is mighty big. As Job said, “Shall we not receive evil from the hand of the Lord?” After receiving all these good things from his hand, am I going to dictate to him what I can now receive or not? How audacious! How arrogant!

God, nothing I have today is rightfully mine. I can claim ownership of none of the good gifts you have bestowed on my life. I may want to do so, but in reality I do not deserve them. Forgive each of us, Father, for thinking of our puny individual selves as somehow more important than the rest of your creation, even than the plan you have for us in Christ.

Like Paul, I have not attained that high calling to which God leads me yet, but I pray that he will give me grace and strength to press on today. O God, let me see more of the precious image of God in Christ revealed in my low life today. Teach me to receive the gifts you send my way today. Help me to quiet my mouth and mind so as to hear your voice in my life.

“Will a man serve God for nothing?” By your grace, Lord, I’ll try.

I think, however, that the genuine answer to that question is a resounding “NO!” Why? Because God is a lover, and lovers give gifts.

Humans cannot serve God for nothing because God cannot stop giving us things. Like a good Father, he continues to lavish his attention on us even when we think he has ignored us. He gives us gifts, sometimes in packages we do not appreciate or recognize, but he eternally gives them nonetheless.

I can set my mind to serve God for nothing, but he would still give me oxygen to breath, food to eat, life to live.

Lord, help our motives to be pure, and teach us to walk gratefully in your good gifts today. Thank you, Lord, that you have not stopped giving to us. Today, we will seek to serve you just because of who you are.

Thanks for reading!