I teach an Adult Bible Community at Thomas Road Baptist Church called the G.A.P. (for Graduates and Professionals), and each week I post the outlines and discussion questions from my lessons on the G.A.P. page on Facebook. A while back I started posting these notes on the blog too. So, here is the outline and questions for our meeting on October 24, 2010. Thomas Road started a new church wide series entitled "Live Like You Were Dying." The staff at TRBC provided teachers topics and notes for each lesson for the next few weeks. I used the notes they provided and tweaked them a bit to fit our particular group. The result are the notes below entitled "Speak Sweeter" and looking at Matthew 5:21-24 and Ephesians 4:25-5:2. If you have any questions or would like to add a comment or two, that would be great!
Speak Sweeter
Matthew 5:21-24
Ephesians 4:25-5:2
Live Like You Were Dying Series
Introduction
Second week in our church wide series, “Live Like You Were Dying”
We are trying in this four week study to strip away the layers of our spiritual lives to expose the core. We want to focus on what ought to be the center of our lives.
Central to any proclamation of God’s Word is the idea of “relationship”
Jesus even says that all of the Law and the Prophets can be summed up in two commandments related to relationship—love God and love others
Last week we looked at the need for focus and passion in our pursuit of knowing God—we considered the need for focus in our relationship with God
This week we will consider the other relationship, the one with other people
Relationships are what give our life so much meaning. We are going to shine the spotlight on one facet of our relationships; how we treat each other. And, even more specifically, we are going to take a look at how we treat each other with our words. The phrase from the song Live Like You Were Dying that we are camping on is “speak sweeter.”
To speak sweeter means to change how we talk and how we act
Our passages today will help us focus on this issue, and we will see that to speak sweeter means:
1. We must stop using words to destroy
2. We must start using words to build up
The main point—Our speech reveals our heart
How we talk to others will show how much we either love (or don’t love) them
(By the way, how you talk “about” others will show that too)
Let’s look at our passages today
Matthew 5:21-24
Ephesians 4:25-5:2
1. Stop Using Words to Destroy
Let’s look at some context here
The Matthew passage takes place in the Sermon on the Mount section
Jesus is addressing a lot of people, and he is considering what true worship or godly living looks like
The problem Jesus addresses here begins in the heart
The ultimate issue in this passage concerns reconciliation with others
We must realize that how we treat others is often revealed by our words as much as by our actions—Anger is destructive
Angry words start beneath the surface—they start in our heart
Jesus addresses the issue of murder and reminds his hearers that anger is just as bad
Anger is pretty much murder without the actual killing
Judgment is reserved for those whose hearts are filled with anger and rage
Luke 6:45—the issue is our heart
Jesus says, “Before anything ever rolls off your lips or shows on your face, I am concerned about the attitude in your heart.”
We must learn to deal with anger in our heart (Proverbs 4:23)
Angry words flow from an angry heart
What is your heart condition?
Angry words do lasting damage
Proverbs 29:11
When we vent our anger, we often leave devastation in our path
The progression in Matthew 5:21-22
a. Anger begins in the heart as an attitude
b. Then it shows itself in attempts to question the character of others
c. Raca—means “fool” or “idiot” and more than that—it represents a calculated attack on someone’s character
If anger is left unchecked, it can wreak havoc
Ephesians 4:26-27 (gives a place to Satan)
Paul challenges us to get rid of anger (Eph. 4:31-32)
How do you handle anger?
Explode?
Implode?
Our first step to being disciplined here is to understand our tendencies
Our speech reveals our heart—stop being destructive
2. Start Using Words to Build Up
Ephesians 4:29
Proverbs 18:21
Question—Describe a time when someone’s words were used to encourage you. How does that impact your life today?
Let’s consider three ways we can speak sweeter and build others up this week
1. Be Encouraging (Prov. 12:25)
Anxious hearts are everywhere. Encouragers are needed. Will you be a Barnabas and take a chance on encouraging a Saul? You may find a Paul.
What can you say this week that will build someone up? Who needs encouragement in your circle?
Encouragement can be as simple as noting a job well done, or acknowledging something positive in a person’s life or character. It may also require you to work hard to do it.
2. Be Gentle/Kind (Eph. 4:29, 32)
Jesus is described in Matthew 11:29 as “gentle and humble”—another word is perhaps “tender”
When we talk about gentle words, we are not just talking about the actual words themselves but also the spirit and tone in which we say the words.
Who needs a gentle response from you? Think about your normal routine. Where do you have the best opportunity to speak gentle words?
Gentle words can bring life and health to others (Prov. 15:4)
Being gentle may also be reflected in our kindness to others
Christians ought to be some of the kindest people, in my opinion—how do we show kindness in our daily lives? Who benefits from our kind words or our kind lives?
3. Be healing—be an agent of reconciliation (Eph. 5:1-2; cf. Matt. 5:23-24)
Too often we use words (and actions) to bring pain to others, but Paul (and Jesus) remind us that our primary goal as followers of Christ is to bring life to others
Love is the primary means to bring life to others
Ephesians 4:25—Speak the truth in love
Not gossip
Not speaking harsh things to “make a point”
This means to live transparent lives of reconciliation
The goal is for all of us to be like Jesus (Eph. 5:1-2)
Romans 14:19—pursue peace and building each other up
Conclusion
Life is too short and relationships too precious for you to ignore this teaching. Maybe right now God has brought to your mind a situation that needs to be reconciled. You take the first step. And, do it now.
As we leave today, we must make an effort to be at peace with others. Yes, we have to do it. No matter how bad they have treated you. No matter what they have done. Jesus only died for us because of love, where do we need to die for others to show them God’s great love?
Our speech reveals our heart—start building others up
Thanks for reading!
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