And then the plate broke . . . Part two

 Many years ago (around 2009) I wrote the entry below. I wanted to post it again due to experiencing some of the same emotions recently, but I wanted to add to it too. Life has not been as hoped or expected in 2022. I'm not saying this to get sympathy, just trying to be honest. I no longer have the joy of doing a job I genuinely enjoyed, and (to be honest) I've been feeling a bit invisible lately. Lunch with some friends today reminded me that I am not really "invisible." It also reminded me that God never really leaves us completely alone. So, I return to grading papers feeling a bit melancholy, but I am reminded of God's faithfulness. This note came up in my memories at just the right time, and I hope it blesses you too! 

Hey y'all: Just a bit of rambling for you today because I'm in a bit of a introspective mood or something (yeah, I know I should be grading or writing or something "academic," but life is like that sometimes). Anyway, I started off the day with a pretty good mood, but it has been one of those days. I got in the car, the CD player wouldn't work. Drove down the road in my neighborhood, almost got run over by "neighbors" who apparently do not know what a "Stop" sign is. On the highway got tailgated by a police car (yep, tailgated, thought he wanted in my backseat or something). Got to work and felt completely invisible . . . and then . . . Some guys came into the office to hang pictures for a colleague.

Little did I realize that they would be relentlessly pounding on my wall from the other side. In a few minutes, a commemorative plate of a Russian lacquer painting was vibrated off my shelf and broke. Sigh.

Now, before you all think I'm beginning to feel too sorry for myself (or before you think I'm fishing for "recognition"), let me just say . . . It is really okay. Yeah, it smarts a bit, but it is okay. I may not be the newest shiny toy, or the most popular person, or even the most recognized "whatever", but I know one thing is still true . . . God has not forgotten me.

He has written me on the palms of his hands; he gave his only unique, one of a kind Son so that I could be his child; he created a whole universe so I could be born as one among many whom he would love; and he knows my name. As surely as God knows the stars by name, he knows each of us in his creation. None of us are overlooked.

Oh, we may have times where we "feel" as though the world would be better without us, but the reality is a bit different. Each of us have a role to play in God's grand story to end all stories. We all are a part of the greatest thing ever. Whether we choose to participate or not, we are all of us a part of what God is doing.

No, that information may not fix my mood, but those words sure make me smile a bit. I'm not alone . . . I haven't lost anything worth much . . . and God is still in control. I admit, it isn't much of a "fix," but then again God never promised us that nothing bad would ever happen.

So, here I am, introspective and all. It's a little cold outside and a bit gloomy, kind of matching my current emotional state. And yet. . . and yet . . . I'm smiling just a bit. Why? Because I am convinced of better things. Because I know God's character. Because his Word never fails.

How inexpressible is his great gift towards us! How surprising and overwhelming is his love! I know the end of the story . . . it will be "happily ever after." If a few plates or books get lost in the meanwhile, I'll figure out a way to deal with it. If you are having a day like mine, let me know. I want to pray for you. Life sucks sometimes, but God is still good.

Thanks for reading!

Outside Looking In

It wasn’t always this way, at one time you were accepted. You were the “go to” person that people called on for a variety of issues. Party? You were invited. Ministry? You were on the list. People needed help or counseling? You got the call. You were in demand. You were needed, even wanted.

Now, here you stand. Was it raining when you got here, or did it just start? The people inside look so warm and welcome. They seem happy, almost content. They are included.

And here you stand—outside, looking in.

You understand that you aren’t always going to fit. You recognize that you are not every person's “cup of tea.” That really isn’t the issue, is it? The issue is that you seem “left out” or “overlooked” or that you don’t belong.

Outside, looking in.

Are those tears mingling with the rain running down your face?

Where did it go wrong? When did you end up on the no fly list? How did it come to this?

The rain begins to slow down, but now your tears return in earnest. The dreams you had, the sense of a call to something bigger, something better, something more than . . . yet here you stand . . . outside, looking in.

Wiping your face, you turn to go. Loneliness overwhelms you for a moment. Then you see a familiar face.

Is that Jesus? Is He crying too? Why would He cry? Then you notice that His arms are open, reaching for you. Is He reaching to hug you or to receive a hug?

It doesn’t seem to matter as you embrace. You are home. Jesus is outside, looking in with you. No, the problems didn’t all fade away into oblivion, but all of a sudden they don’t seem to overwhelm. You have a friend, and for now that is sufficient.

Yes, sometimes life is hard. Sometimes we are really lonely. We could all get t-shirts that say “Been there, done that.” Finding out you are on the outside, looking in when you thought you were accepted and on the inside can be devastating. Regardless, Jesus is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. He is there, and he cares.

May His presence bring you joy even in turmoil. May His embrace remind you that you belong to Him.

I also want you to know that there are others that care. I am one of them. If I can help, please let me know. One step at a time, weary pilgrim, one step at a time. You really are not alone.

Thanks for reading!