Showing posts with label friends matter. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends matter. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 12, 2024

Missing My Friend Again: In Memory of Steve Huisman

Eighteen years ago on June 12, Steve Huisman went to be with the Lord. I don't know why his death is heavy on my heart this year, but it just is. I miss my friend. I have so many things I'd like to share with him, so many questions to ask, and I need his honesty.

I miss Steve more than I can say.

Eighteen years ago, I wrote the following note in memory of Steve. I read it again today and it brought tears to my eyes. I want to share it with you all as a reminder of how important good friends are. If you have a friend like Steve, call that person today and thank them. If you don't, I pray that God will send you one soon.

It has been a lifetime since I had the opportunity to talk to Steve. How I miss him, but how grateful I am to have known him!

Sorry to be so melancholy!

Here's the post in honor of my friend (written in June 2006, a few days after the accident):

Steve Huisman.

Most of my readers will not recognize that name, although a few may think they know it.

Steve was a very good friend of mine. In fact, he was one of the best friends I ever had.

Steve died on Monday (June 12, 2006) in a plane crash. He was flying a plane in Florida that encountered some mechanical problems and crash landed on Davis Island. Steve died when the plane hit a home and caught fire. His co-pilot and the one person in the home survived.

I don't want to dwell on how Steve died. I want to describe how he lived.

Steve was a man that seemed at times to operate on an almost visceral level of honesty. He was unafraid to admit exactly how he was feeling and what he thought, especially when those thoughts and feelings pertained to his own spiritual status.

Don't misunderstand me, he was not a negative person. He was just quick to recognize his own fallenness and struggles. And by his honest admission of his fallenness, he elicited from others a confession that often bordered on sacramental.

Steve was my hero.

I would never have completed my Ph.D. if not for Steve Huisman. He was working on a correspondence course when he called me one day. He asked how the dissertation was going, and I confessed that I was struggling and didn't think I'd finish it. Oh, my lovely wife was gently prodding me, the members of the dissertation committee were doing their part to help me out, but I just was not motivated.

Steve had a great thought--"Leo, how about we call each other at 6:00 a.m. to give updates on our projects? It will be good for us and provide a source of accountability."

Promptly at 6:00 the next morning, he called me.

For about two years after that my early morning conversations with Steve were opportunities to admit my fears and my failures as well as times to rejoice in milestones and accomplishments. He never judged me when I had a bad day or week. He gently encouraged me to press on. He laughed with me when something funny happened, he celebrated with me when things got done. He walked with me, and by being there he pushed me to finish.

When I graduated with my Ph.D., I neglected to tell him how much his encouragement had meant to me. Two weeks ago he called me here in VA. He was in FL and just wanted to talk. We talked about an hour about our families, our lives, our Lord. We laughed, we kidded each other, we prayed for each other. He told me that he wanted my wife to speak to his wife. As we were passing the phones, I cleared my throat and said, "Steve, I wanted to tell you how much your friendship means to me. You were God's instrument to help me finish my dissertation. I never adequately thanked you for that." I told him all the great things I loved about him--his acceptance, his honesty, his gentleness even when he corrected me or pushed me to discipline, his gut level love for other people that was evident in my life. I sang his praises, I think I embarrassed him.

I told him I loved him.

Little did I know it would be the last time we would talk on this earth.

Steve went to be with the Lord in that plane crash Monday, but he left an awful lot of good stuff behind. His life is still having an impact on others even though it has ended. His diligence to serve God and others has left the world a better place. His love for his wife and children have instituted a legacy that will no doubt bear great fruit. His ongoing desire to be the best he could be for God's sake continues to motivate those who knew him to a deeper intimacy with God through Christ.

Steve was not a Bible scholar, but his life exemplified a clear understanding of the biblical call to follow Christ. He was a friend. He was a godly man. I miss him.

God, how I miss him!

I hate this fallen world of ours, but I know that it isn't home. Not completely. It is a way station. None of us are on this earth forever.

I still miss Steve.

41 years is not enough. I only knew him about 13 or so of those years.

He was a tall drink of water, a missionary kid with a love bigger than the world. He was the kind of guy you could trust to watch your most prized possessions. He had my back, he was my mighty and marvelous comrade. He helped me slay dragons and rescue the oppressed. Now I have to contemplate life without one of my wing men. Steve loved flying only slightly less than he loved God and his family. He loved to be in the air. Someday, I'll look up in the air and see him coming with Jesus. It will be the ultimate flight, and it won't surprise me to see Steve acting as the pilot.

Death invaded my life again. I can't imagine how his wife and children feel. I feel like I've been punched in the stomach, like I've lost something that cannot be replaced. I can almost hear Steve saying "I'll call you in the morning. You're going to make it! Hang in there!"

Thanks Steve, for all you gave us. Thanks to God for sharing Steve with us for 41 years. I'm crying now and feeling like I'm rambling, so maybe I better stop.

Live today like you have no tomorrow. Hug someone special and tell them you love them. Life is fragile, my friends, but God is strong. God is still in control, even though the world seems to spin crazily out of orbit.

Hang in there! With God's help, we're all going to make it!

Thanks for reading!

Sunday, January 08, 2023

Reflections on 2022: A Repost with an addendum

 Some of the information below I posted originally in 2009, and I am repeating it here as most of it has not changed. On the other hand, I have added some addendums in parenthetical statements. I hope you all have a blessed 2023! 

2022 was a rough year for me and my family. In the fall of 2021, one of my best friends (Mike Mitchell) passed away. Then in January of 2022, my mom went to be with Jesus. January also saw us without a dog for the first time in 26 years. I don't want to talk about it. Then in February our "adopted" daughter, Jane Marczewski, lost her battle with cancer. I also was no longer serving as the director of the PhD in Theology and Apologetics program after the spring of 2022. May 2022 saw us going through mom's stuff with my brothers and their families. My daughter finally was allowed by her doctors to begin to ride her horse again in 2022 (she had a fall in December 2021 that caused issues). We celebrated our first Thanksgiving without mom and our first Christmas without her. 

Yeah, 2022 was a tough one. Not an exemplary year for us, and yet God is faithful and good. We look to the future to see what God will do. As I repost this reflection, I wanted you all to know that my friends and family are used by God to make all of this bearable. Thank you! 

Another year has come, and I wanted to share some reflections with you all.

1. I am not a patient man, and waiting in airports is not my favorite activity. (Note: I have not waited in any airports for about 3 years, but I still do not like waiting)
2. As an aside and with reference to the same issue: I do not like lounge singers. (Note: No lounge singers have been around me for a while, so this opinion may have changed)
3. Traveling is fine, but I like coming home best of all.
4. It is easier to take down a trampoline than it is to set one up.
5. it is easier to fall off a trampoline than to relive your youth ("I'll bet I can jump higher than you" is not a proper challenge for an over 40 person to issue to a 9 year old!)--(Note: I have not actually jumped on a trampoline in about 10 years, and seeing as I am now over 60 I seriously doubt it will happen. Nonetheless, this is still true)
6. Preparing lessons, sermons, or lectures on a weekly basis is not as easy as you think.
7. I hang out with some amazing people . . . true scholars who sometimes overwhelm me with their knowledge and love for God as well as wonderful young adults whose passion for Christ pushes me to desire to be more like Him.
8. I have a great family and great friends.
9. My daughter is simply amazing. I wish I had her creativity. (Note: My daughter is a wise and mature individual. She has endured more stress and problems in her 26 years of existence than some will encounter in an entire lifetime. Nonetheless, she handles all of this with a sense of humor and with trust in God. I am honored to be her dad!)
10. My son is astounding. If I had half his energy (or brains), God knows what I could have been. (Note: The energy is not as high now, but my son is amazing and wicked smart. He is also one of the most compassionate people I know, and he believes in real justice. If there is a wrong to be righted, he will work hard to make that happen. I am honored to be his dad!)
11. I love my wife more every day. No matter what the economic, political, or seasonal outlook, she gets prettier and smarter every day. (Note: This is still true, and I am a blessed man!)
12. I am addicted to board games. . . and dominoes . . . and coffee. . . and meat . . . and chocolate. Not necessarily in that order. (Note: I should add . . . and cookies . . . and coffee . . . and books)
13. You can never have enough books, especially comic books (I may have another addiction, huh?).
14. I miss my dog. (Note: This is harder since we no longer have our dog)
15. January is a fine month, but I like it better with snow.
16. Christmas ends too soon.
17. Another year of college football is almost over, and I already miss it.
18. I'm not very good at writing reflections.
19. I better stop now.
20. No, I mean it, I have to stop!
21. Aaargh! Quit reading! Can't you see it is tempting me to continue!
22. The End

Maybe . . .

Sorry for the rambling . . .

Happy New Year!

May God's grace and finest blessings be yours in 2023.

Thanks for reading!