"I just feel worthless," he said quietly.
It wasn't the way he said it that attracted my attention, but it was his demeanor. This was a person who was in some sense utterly defeated. Everything about him echoed his words. Worthless. Useless. Empty.
I wasn't sure at first how to respond. Sitting before me was a shell, an empty person who felt as though he had absolutely nothing to offer.
I tried to help. "You're not worthless, just look at all you've accomplished."
The words sounded hollow, almost accusatory. His eyes flashed, but it wasn't "life" coming in. It was genuine anger. I had misunderstood him.
"No, you don't get it. I have nothing to offer. I am worthless. I am done."
The words hung in the air like heavy fog, demanding an answer. I honestly didn't know what to say.
If you knew this man, you'd be surprised at his self-evaluation. He earned several degrees (some from prestigious universities and with well known professors). He taught thousands of people, and he mentored many who would ultimately follow in his academic footsteps. He had traveled to a variety of places. He married well and his children were healthy, intelligent, and well behaved. He had rebounded from a moral failure and rebuilt his life and reputation. He was respected by his peers. He "had it all" in a country where such an existence was supposed to be the "American dream".
I wanted to remind him of these things, but he sat there glaring. His red eyes and sad look reminded me of an old derelict building left standing too long that now leaned and threatened to fall over. The supports were gone, the shell was hollow, there was nothing left. How do you rebuild on such a foundation?
The person sitting before me was an encourager. Many times I saw him take last place so that others would be acknowledged and even honored. He prayed that his students would accomplish more than he, and they did! Oh my, how well his students had done! The man went out of his way to make sure others were served, to make sure that others had affirmation, that others were encouraged. He was a Barnabas, and people would flock to him to receive his ministry of encouragement.
Yet here he sat, downcast, done, empty . . . How do you encourage the empathetic man of encouragement who has run dry? Who is worthy of the task?
And then I had an idea. I looked into his eyes and his sad face, and I said, "You know, sometimes I wish I had your life."
He gave me an incredulous look, but I continued. "I can't count how many times I wished I could treat others as well as you treat them." Then I said, "I love you, and I can't imagine what this world would be like without someone like you."
The eyes that were wet with tears showed a few signs of life. A wry grin appeared on his face. Life was returning, and for a moment the derelict building began to look a bit like a stately home once again.
He didn't need a history lesson. He didn't need me to recount his glorious deeds. He simply need to be affirmed. He needed appreciation.
I didn't write this story to get you to feel sorry for this man (okay, maybe just a little), but I wrote this to be a reminder to us all. We need to be appreciated, we need to be affirmed. We all cry out to be loved.
You see, this person's story could be your story, it could be my story. Life has a way of draining us, and sometimes we aren't sure how to refill the well. Feelings of worthlessness can pile up, and we begin to compare ourselves to others (often unrealistically). "I'm not good enough. I don't have the stuff. I'm not needed."
Yet the truth is probably bigger than we realize, and a little affirmation can go a long way.
Take a moment today. Give some affirmation to someone who has encouraged you. Let people know that you appreciate them, and that you are thankful for their contribution to your life. Who knows, it could restore life . . . maybe even yours.
Thank you for reading!
