Sometimes When We Touch - Dan Hill
You ask me if I love you
And I choke on my reply
I'd rather hurt you honestly
Than mislead you with a lie
And who am I to judge you
On what you say or do?
I'm only just beginning to see the real you
And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides
Romance and all its strategy
Leaves me battling with my pride
But through the insecurity
Some tenderness survives
I'm just another writer
Still trapped within my truth
A hesitant prize fighter
Still trapped within my youth
And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides
At times I'd like to break you
And drive you to your knees
At times I'd like to break through
And hold you endlessly
At times I understand you
And I know how hard you've tried
I've watched while love commands you
And I've watched love pass you by
At times I think we're drifters
Still searching for a friend
A brother or a sister
But then the passion flares again
And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides
I was listening to this song today after having a conversation about small groups and relationships. How appropriate that Providence (or was it "sheer luck") established that this song would be keyed up on my car's CD player! Let me explain.
One of the things I have been learning as a disciple of Christ is the importance of authentic and reconciled relationships. In our fast-paced, computer based, and out of touch society, we tend to define "relationships" by the number of times we e-mail, page, or voice mail our friends. We get in the habit of having "contact" without coming into contact with anyone! We have "friends" that we never seem to encounter physically. How do we call that "relationship"?
What I love about this song is the honesty about relationships. Read the lyrics again. Go ahead, I'll wait right here.
Done? No, no hurry, I'm still here.
Okay, got it? Good. Here are the ideas that caught my attention today. Dan Hill reminds us that relationships work best when they are founded on honesty and presence.
Yes, presence.
Oh, many of us have honesty down (although in some cases our claims to "honesty" are just an excuse to be insulting--right?), but how many of us have the issue of "presence"? Do we even know what it is?
Look at the chorus--Dan Hill sings that he wants to hold on until his fear subsides, he wants to hold on until both he and his girl break down and cry. What's he saying?
He is there. . . he is with her . . . he is present.
How does it relate to being a Christ-follower? Let me illustrate by telling a story.
In Luke 24, a couple of guys have left Jerusalem to walk home after a disappointing series of events including the trial and wrongful death of Jesus. They are depressed, bummed, disappointed. They had thought that Jesus may be the One who would set things right. Now he is dead. Done in by one of his own disciples and killed by the religious leaders and political tyrants of the day. In this depressed state of mind they take a walk.
I picture them walking along silently--just being there with each other. As they continue their depressed journey, a stranger approaches. This guy doesn't seem to understand the significance of recent events. He is clueless. Even more importantly, he is Jesus, but the depressed walkers don't recognize him.
As they walk, they relate the series of happenings to the hidden Christ. They spill their guts about their disappointment, their sadness at the death of Jesus. They express their doubt regarding the report of a few women that Jesus' body was missing from the tomb. They are too busy with their disappointment to buy the idea of resurrection.
Then Jesus speaks.
He doesn't say, "Oh gee, you guys have had it rough. Man, I'm glad I missed all of that."
He doens't put a band-aid on their gaping chest wound.
He pulls out the scalpel of God's word (see Hebrews 4:12) and performs heart surgery.
Jesus takes their broken hearts into his surgeon's hands and works on them.
As Jesus talks to them, they approach home in Emmaus. The depressed fellows are feeling much better now, so they invite the still unknown Jesus into their home.
They sit down at the table to eat. Eating is an intimate act of sorts. They are expressing friendship to this stranger.
Then Jesus breaks the bread, offers a blessing, and the guys look up and see the resurrected Lord where a stranger had been (is that what the author of Hebrews meant about entertaining "angels unawares" in chapter 13 of that letter?).
Jesus was there.
He was present with them, but they did not "see" him until they ate with him, until they got honest, until they recognized his presence there.
What do you think tipped them off?
Was it the prayer? Or the way Jesus broke the bread?
Whatever it was, the presence of Christ was expressed in that honest moment. Here's the point:
When followers of Christ get together in honest relationships focused on reconciliation (see Matthew 18:12-20), the presence of God is practically guaranteed.
So, here's what attracted me to this song--the idea of being in relationships that help me see the real me and the real you. Relationships of such honesty and reconciliation that we just keep at them until the fear disappears.
We all have been hurt at one time or another in relationships. It may have been a dating situation, or at home, or at church, or at work.
We have all endured the brokenness and pain that comes from being human.
Why not look for authentic relationship that gives an invitation to the presence of Jesus?
Why not be there for each other?
It is a high standard, but if Jesus did it, how can we say no to an attempt?
Be there.
I'm going to try.
Thanks for reading!
3 comments:
This was a great post Leo. And, while I might be on the low end of my 30's....I do indeed remember this song. I found myself singing along. I just recently spoke about community in this type of context with some UBC folks. I spoke about how we often present our stories as resumes (single sheet highlight reels), rather than the full-blown epic novels they are. Being fully present is something that we as a Church are talking about a lot. Thank you again.
Michael
Whats funny is that we live in a time when ONLINE relationships are becoming more and more prevalent. I have a friend who met someone online and said he ended up meeting her and although they got along great online, and she was exactly how he imagined her, the relationship became awkward after that and it ended. There was no presence! I even heard of a couple whose marriage was falling apart, and the counselor suggested emailing each other because that was how they communicated a lot in the beginning of their relationship, and it worked! People are becoming disconnected and they dont seem to see it.
P.S im only 20 years old and i knew the song...all those oldies dad used to make me listen to. :)
Thanks for the notes Mike and Megan! It is fascinating to me how disconnected from people we have become in our society, and yet we are so "connected" electronically. Anyone who thinks that an electronic connection benefits relationship should watch my 6 year old play video games--he doesn't know that anyone else is around. He's lost in electronics. That's a good title for America--Lost in Electronics! At any rate, thanks for posting!
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