And now, a song from Jennifer Knapp . . .

This song is "Say Won't You Say" by Jennifer Knapp. I'll let the lyrics talk first.

Chorus:
say won't you say
say that you love me
with love, ever, love
love everlasting
all my devotion put into motion by you

Verse 1:
every morning I
have a chance to rise and
give my all
but every afternoon i find i have only wasted time
in light of your awe
isn't love amazing
i forgot how to speak
knowing you are near and
i am finally free

(Chorus)

Verse 2:
my eyes fear to close
this reckless letting go is
hard to bear
on the edge of all i need
still i cling to what i see
and what have i there?
bred my own disaster
who have i to blame?
when all i need is waiting
to be fanned to flame

(chorus)

Bridge:
yeah, i opened up my eyes
to see you standing there
o, i can barely breathe
o, i can hardly bare
all the love i feel for you inside
i hope you feel it now

I'll apologize up front for the negative feel that you may find in this song. I'm still struggling a bit with my emotions regarding the loss of my friend Steve Huisman. That being said, Steve's spiritual honesty and transparency have been driving me lately to look at my own life. That drive led me to Jennifer Knapp. She sings with an almost pure transparency and honesty. Here's what I get from this song.

We live in a fallen world. That is not an excuse for acting like fallen people, it is simply a truth with which each individual must deal. We are fallen, we live in a fallen place.

Paradise is lost to us.

Eden is a gated community. We are no longer invited.

Yet every morning, God offers to each of us a new measure of mercy. His mercies are new every morning. Like dew on the grass, this mercy just appears. We did nothing to get it, we will do nothing to earn it, we can't even make it happen. It just happens because it is driven by grace.

We wake up. Our world is still gray and lifeless, but on the grass we see this mercy. We see color, we see life, we see possibility and potential.

What do we do with it?

What is our reaction to this fresh load of undeserved kindness dumped on the lawn of our life?

Too often like the song above, we simply waste it. We tread through it with our dirty feet. At the end of the day, we wonder where it went.

The truth is that it hasn't gone anywhere. Even when we drag our dirty feet through the sweet holy dew of God's kindness to us, it still sticks to us. It grabs our shoes and follows us into the world.

God is not a quitter. He keeps pouring out lovingkindness, mercy, grace, and all that good stuff every day. Oh, we try to avoid it. We focus on the darkness of our personal experiences, we look at the drudgery of our lives, we complain about our own fallenness.

Yet even in the midst of that, God is there. Look at the bridge of the song above. Go on, look.

Open your eyes. God is standing there. His love is beautiful, it is breathtaking. He stands there to overwhelm us with his concern for us. He makes the dew of his mercy fall each morning on our colorless lives so that he can bring life and color and joy and holiness to each of us.

It is awe inspiring.

Even in the midst of our darkest moment the light of God pierces through like a laser of truth.

"I am here."

"I am that I am."

"I love you."

"Come to me."

I've heard various permutations of the song "It is Well with my Soul" over the last 10 days since Steve died. May I just say that the song is true. I sit here at my desk and tell you, it is well.

No, my circumstances have not changed, I still miss my friend. But my blinded eyes are opened, I see God and his kindness standing there. He takes my breath away. He cares for me. Yes, he even cares that I hurt.

It is well. As I bury my head into my Father's shoulder and let out that cry that has been welling up for some time, I know. I know. It is well.

As my Father takes me in his arms and loves me as only he can--I know. It is well.

As he brushes my tear stained face with his kind and gentle hand, as I look into his loving eyes, as I hear his calming voice--I know that it is well.

God loves me. He cares. It will be okay.

Hang in there. By God's grace, you're going to make it.

Thanks be to God for his inexpressible gift!

Thank you for reading!