Waiting for morning . . . is that hope shining?

The past 10 days have been a bit of a blur. I've been a bit overwhelmed in my mind and heart by circumstances and events, some of which are quite beyond my control. I haven't quite been sure how to put things into perspective lately. Part of it is the busyness of my job and the constant pressure to produce something that will win the approval of others, but that isn't all. My heart still hurts for the Virginia Tech community, my mind swirls with a hundred possible scenarios to make that hurt go away, and yet I know that sometimes life just has pain. The hope that comes to me first looks a bit like the sun at dawn. It peeks over the fog and the dark clouds of the night. It seems almost timid, not sure whether or not to make its presence known. Then, the bright light pierces some part of the darkness. That little bit of light brightens the space, makes it seem lighter, more accessible.

Hope has been like that to me the past few days. By God's grace I see hope peeking into a dark time of life. The sun has not fully risen to its zenith, but there is a shaft of light shining into a dark place, making it livable and alive. In the midst of this darkness, I have taken solace in some music. One song that has encouraged me is "Take Me Away" by Sarah Kelly. It can be found on her album by the same name. Here are the lyrics:

no more weary teary eyes
just sunny skies
never have I felt so alone my how I've grown
maybe that's the way it's supposed to be as I'm walking down this
street
maybe if it's just you and me we'll never even miss a beat
maybe

Take me away
Take me away
All that I love is you, is you

captured by your love I'm such a fool for you
the day you laid your hand upon my heart tore my world apart
there's been so many times that I have prayed to hear you speak my
name
and though I've never seen you face to face I search for you everyday

Take me away
Take me away
All that I love is you, is you

come what will and come what may
I know your love will remain through the joy and through all the pain
I surrender and it makes me want to fly

Take me away
Take me away
All that I love is you, is you

I have this sense that God is there. He cares. I want to run away to him, to be in his lap for a few minutes. I want the ugliness of this fallen world to disappear, just for a minute. I want to experience the joy of Narnia without any evil.

I know that a day will come, a day unlike any other, a day when we can tread the streets with no names and find what we are looking for. That hope is what drives me today. I'm not depressed, I'm sad that the ugliness of this world necessitates the death of so many who are too young to die. This tragedy has touched many of us because of our human condition. We are finite. We are fallible. We are lost without hope and without peace. Tragedy reminds us that we are breakable. It reminds us that we are not in control. Tragedy treads upon our chosen utopias and reminds us that this isn't Eden anymore.

God has known tragedy. The day his Son Jesus died as an innocent for our guilt was a tragedy to him. He understands unspeakable loss. God through Christ experienced with and for us the tragic consequences of sin, of our utter sinfulness as humans. As the inhumanity of the snarling crowd tortured and put to death Jesus, God stood and watched. He accepted the wounds of that very personal tragedy so that he can offer us the comfort and joy of his presence and grace. Jesus made a way through tragedy for us to come freely and without payment to receive God's kindness. Yes, God understands tragedy.

The tragedy at Virginia Tech has left scars. It has left grief. It has left sorrow.

But God is beyond that tragedy. He is there. I turn to him, he is my hope. Without him, it just isn't worth the work, it isn't worth the effort, I'd just stay in bed. He cares. He loves. He gives me fresh mercy like the dew every morning. He will see us through even the hurts and wounds of life. He will give comfort. Jesus waits for us to come, to receive his embrace, to cry in his arms. He is ready to take us into the comfort of his presence.

No, the circumstances will not disappear, the hurt will not "magically" go away. Our circumstances may not change dramatically, but in his presence, in the arms of Jesus we will see our worth in his eyes, we will receive his love, his hope. God is in charge! He is not asleep at the wheel.

Thanks to God for this hope, thanks to God for his inexpressible gift!

The sun will rise, life will continue, good will happen. Joy comes in the morning. I look forward to joy.

Thanks for reading!